Expansion. Quality.

So this semester God's been doing a lot of expanding...it took me awhile to choose this word. I haven't written a lot about my job because I've had to figure out how to express what's going on. Basically, I hang out for about 5 hours a day with the same child who has some very serious anger issues because of his life story. We chill in his classroom, him and 2 teachers, me being one of them. Growing up the way I have, this child has brought up some deep issues within myself I've never really explored because of my sheltered past. First, I've never realized how much I took my own safety for granted, or how much I value it. For the last two months, I've been threatened verbally multiple times each day, and been physically threatened multiple times in a week aka a fist 3 inches from my face, threatening body gestures, etc. In this, I've left work literally shaking multiple times, and just gotten home and bawled several times as well. Yay for honesty. But in this, I've seen Jesus so much. One, I am broken over the lost and dying world out there, and the effects of it and the sins of the father visited upon the child. It's heartbreaking. (I can't elaborate on his past experiences for confidentiality sake.) My heart is daily broken for the experiences this child has been through and the way he views life. There is no trust, no real love. Everything is so conditional and it's all about self. I've learned about harsh words that stir up anger and gentle words that destroy wrath. And slowly but surely, I've watched God work mightily in the life of this child. His teachers are all believers. My church has found 5 men to come hang out with him for an hour or so every week day, providing solid male influence. I've seen him begin to trust people. I've seen him learn (beginning to) to deal with this rage, this pain that is etched so deeply within him, that's been trying to get out for years. I see a hope that's never been there before, but is so afraid to come out for fear of being hurt again, just like he's been his entire life. Prayer for salvation and mercy is daily. Behavior modification is not my goal with this child. He daily used to talk about how he'd be in jail by his 10th birthday. This comes less and less these days. I don't know what exactly is happening, but I do know God is working. I've become more thankful than ever as I see what God saved me from, growing up the way I did and then I sit and think...This is EXACTLY the way God saw me before I knew him. So lost, broken, and destroyed by this world, so desperately in need of him. And he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness, bringing us to walk in his glorious light. Now if that isn't something to get excited about, I don't know what is!!!!!!:) Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus.