Expansion. Quality.

So this semester God's been doing a lot of expanding...it took me awhile to choose this word. I haven't written a lot about my job because I've had to figure out how to express what's going on. Basically, I hang out for about 5 hours a day with the same child who has some very serious anger issues because of his life story. We chill in his classroom, him and 2 teachers, me being one of them. Growing up the way I have, this child has brought up some deep issues within myself I've never really explored because of my sheltered past. First, I've never realized how much I took my own safety for granted, or how much I value it. For the last two months, I've been threatened verbally multiple times each day, and been physically threatened multiple times in a week aka a fist 3 inches from my face, threatening body gestures, etc. In this, I've left work literally shaking multiple times, and just gotten home and bawled several times as well. Yay for honesty. But in this, I've seen Jesus so much. One, I am broken over the lost and dying world out there, and the effects of it and the sins of the father visited upon the child. It's heartbreaking. (I can't elaborate on his past experiences for confidentiality sake.) My heart is daily broken for the experiences this child has been through and the way he views life. There is no trust, no real love. Everything is so conditional and it's all about self. I've learned about harsh words that stir up anger and gentle words that destroy wrath. And slowly but surely, I've watched God work mightily in the life of this child. His teachers are all believers. My church has found 5 men to come hang out with him for an hour or so every week day, providing solid male influence. I've seen him begin to trust people. I've seen him learn (beginning to) to deal with this rage, this pain that is etched so deeply within him, that's been trying to get out for years. I see a hope that's never been there before, but is so afraid to come out for fear of being hurt again, just like he's been his entire life. Prayer for salvation and mercy is daily. Behavior modification is not my goal with this child. He daily used to talk about how he'd be in jail by his 10th birthday. This comes less and less these days. I don't know what exactly is happening, but I do know God is working. I've become more thankful than ever as I see what God saved me from, growing up the way I did and then I sit and think...This is EXACTLY the way God saw me before I knew him. So lost, broken, and destroyed by this world, so desperately in need of him. And he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness, bringing us to walk in his glorious light. Now if that isn't something to get excited about, I don't know what is!!!!!!:) Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus.

To my dear Elise

Happy Birthday!!!!!! What a wonderful best friend you are! I could not ask for more in a friend and praise Jesus every day, because as you grow, I grow too. As you are sharpened, I am sharpened! I miss you in Houston but you're only an hour and a half away! I hope today is super special and can't wait to celebrate with you soon.

Just some things I love about you:

You live life to your own beat.
You take me with you.
HOPE group memories (all 4 years).
Not wanting to live together for freshmen year even after we were told we would be friends, and then becoming best friends:)
Trad Pad gloriousness.
Theta house accountability til 2 in the morning.
Your sassiness.
Your rebukingness to me for me :)
Your cool dance moves.
Fletch ministry.
Your love for Jesus.
Your servant heart.

You're great! And you should all post and remind her how great she is!

Happy Birthday!!!!!

Well, some real cool people I know have recently had birthdays...My Dad's was on Saturday and Chaney and I went home to celebrate. Let me tell you about Daddy. He's one of my favorite people in the entire world. There is just nobody like him. He has the uncanny gift to say the one thing to relieve all tension in a room that's about to blow up. Then we all laugh instead. He is a picture of a man growing in the Lord daily. He puts his wife and hls family before him in everything, always doing something for someone else. He loves Mommy so much. He has great costume making abilities. He was known as the "hidden treasure" on his last mission trip because he's that great. He'd be terribly embarrassed to know I'm writing this right now. He made sure his children know that God comes before all else in life and we NEVER missed church growing up. Because his daddy died of a heart attack when Dad was 16, he's made it a priority to take care of himself so he will be around a long time. He took such good care of his mommy when she was sick. I know that when I wake up on Saturday morning at home that all cars will be completely washed, the lawn mowed, and a really great breakfast will be made, because my Dad is awesome. AND, breakfast is his favorite meal of the day and I've never met a man more excited in the mornings. :) Yay for Ronald Mark Nall!!! Thankfully he goes by Mark. :)

Sweetness.

So the most fabulous little boy Jalen made my day on Friday. We, meaning the first graders, filed into the library to watch the computerized Randie the Racoon talk about recycling...they were pretty mesmerized to say the least...and so was i:) My head aide, Jeanie, had our student sitting in her lap in front of me while we were sitting on the floor watching the presentation. Now Jalen and I's previous contact had amounted only to the idea that he talked when I had bus duty in the morning and so after repeated warnings I had to lead him, crying, to the wall to sit and face so he wouldn't talk. So here we are watching Randie the Racoon and I see this little boy in front of me lean on Jeanie and then after a moment spot me behind her. I'm sitting indian style mind you, and this little guy scoots back so his back is leaning on my legs. Then in one foul swoop he scoots up into my lap, grabs my arms and guides them to embrace his little body and interdigitates his little fingers inbetween mine for the next 45 minutes. At first I wasn't even sure if it was him, but I got him to spell his name which confirmed my thoughts. My heart was so blessed by the simplicity of this child wanting to be loved. This is how I am with the Lord, pride aside. I just want to sit in his lap, arms wrapped around me, and just be.