welp...a little bita poetry...

So I've decided to post some of my poetry...enjoy! The first one's kinda old (maybe a few months) and the other one is my latest. Pass along any comments if you're feelin it!

Fear.
It’s an ugly word in most senses.
It keeps us from life
because the outcome
is uncertain.
It holds us back
from what we were meant to do.
Two words come with this kind of fear.
Of man.
Yes, that’s right.
Fear of man keeps us from living life
the way it was meant to be lived,
to the fullest.
This displaced,
distorted,
evil,
frustrated,
envious,
jealous
fear
tells us
to do what is expected of us,
to STAY AWAY
from the unknown
it’s way too scary
what if it falls through?
You’ve gotta have a backup.
And if you don’t
or you don’t
know what you’re doing,
you’re screwed.
Don’t wait on the Lord,
wait on yourself,
this fear exclaims.
God takes way too much time to decide these things.
Go with what you’re comfortable with
what’s gonna work best for you.
It’ll all be okay
even if you choose to disobey.
But then,
this places absolutely NO value on trusting the Lord and having the RIGHT kind of fear. The FEAR of the LORD.
Realizing I am either a slave to my sinful nature
or to Christ,
disobedience to God should make me be VERY afraid
…because I have been asked,
commanded to do something
by the most High
and I
Have told him to shut up.
Forget it.
You’ve taken too long
so I’m just going to decide it for myself
based on my far too finite knowledge
because I’m “well-educated.”
Barf.
God, may I not succumb to these lies.
Lies, yes
that is what they are.
These things that say
“God doesn’t care”
so figure it out yourself
before it’s “too late.”
Oh God.
Lord keep us from such things.

Secure

I become more and more insecure in myself
As I become more and more secure in Christ
It is a strange but beautiful place to be
Convinced I can do nothing right
And Christ must do it for me
With nothing left to do but throw up my hands
As He receives the victory
And I refuse to succumb to mediocrity
Good-bye to the way I used to be
Hello to my ever present eternity
Oh God I beg you to use me
To impact and affect souls for eternity
All else is but wind, come and gone so fast
There is nothing else in this life that will last
But the souls of men and the Word of the past
Present and Future of the God of Paternity
It is you who I yearn to be
I know this is not easily attained
And yet still this one thing remains
To be like you in whole
Is my ultimate goal
Not that I could ever be God
To admit that would be a whole lot of fraud
But to mirror who you are
This would be more satisfying by far
Than the sludge that I play in
To look deep into your face
And to know that redeeming grace
To remember you don’t condemn your saints
But instead you use them to paint
This indescribable, alluring scene
That you have woven millions of years before
What else could I ask for?
I could not ask for more!
Than to be used by the God of the Universe
As He secures who I am in Him
Chord after chord, verse after verse
There’s no need to pretend or even to rehearse
There is no life without Him
And it is there that Satan condemns
This is it, despite all the strife
Christ is it, Christ is real life.

Oh Life, Sweet Life...

Proverbs 13:12

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

Word. Literally.

So I've been thinking about this verse a whole lot lately as I continue to ponder the next step. The most interesting part to me is the between the lines of this verse. PATIENCE in the waiting for the longing to be fulfilled. I feel like all I do in life these days is wait. It was really frustrating me for awhile (and it still can if i choose to let it) and then the Lord started to rock the boat on this. He's still rocking but i'm not sure what the rocking leads to:) Obviously in our times of waiting (I mean in life, we wait on the Lord all the time) God doesn't just want us to sit and twiddle our thumbs. He doesn't want us to be lazy and just sit around. So I've been workin the bucks and applying for different jobs and discipleship programs trying to be proactive about the future while balancing contentment with where I am now. Oh the patience required to live in the here and now! How cool is it though, that when that longing is fulfilled, it's gonna be tight! Such a good verse...aren't they all? Anyway, i'll keep ya posted when more is known...we will find out! And I just really like this picture from San Marcos 07:)