VICTORY!!!

so this morning, i think was one of those breakthrough times...like really. like my last few posts have talked about i'm workin on the homefront at my church right now. My biggest thing with being home for the summer (which i haven't been since i was 14 by the way) is to rediscover my home aka remove biases and prejudices that stain my perception of where i come from and prevent me from seeing it as God sees it so that i CAN see it as HE does...with all of its flaws and even in spite of its flaws...the last thing i want is to fall into complacency and retrace my steps back into high school...gross. i am being pushed in so many ways because being in cs these last four years has changed me and now is my time to share these changes, which is scary at times...being with people who knew you differently than you are now. All my previous knowledge of this place is helpful in letting me meet ppl where they are and my prayer is that i would see them as God sees them. I never really wanted to be here at all post graduation until the Lord led me here...He's pretty funny. Now in a weird way, I can't imagine not being here b/c it is so obvious that i am supposed to be and that he is moving in HUGE ways that are so hard to describe but SO AWESOME! the latest victory was this morning at sunday school. usually jr highers are pushing each other around not paying attention or caring about what song they are singing, whatev. Today however, was so completely different. I started playing guitar for real about a year and a half ago and playing it and singing are like two of my favorite things in the whole world. However, I have been bound for a long time with not wanting to sing in front of really anyone by myself...the idea really just terrifies me sitting here in Chaney's room to be honest. But the Lord has made it clear to me that although there are people far more gifted than me (and there are!) he wants me to use this gift (which once again TERRIFIES ME:). Anyway, crunch time came and i VOLUNTEERED to play guitar and sing this morning...now please know that the reason i share this is because this is COMPLETELY the LORD. In my flesh, I would never do this, just ask any of my close friends...anyway, as i'm pretty much terrified this morning, the Lord played for me, and spoke for me. I have nothing to offer of my own at all and it was totally the Lord. They actually sang and I think they actually thought about and prayed through the songs! I mean i can't be sure but none the less, I was pretty much amazed when i sat down...because it wasn't me at all up there. I got nothin. But anyway, I just wanted to share that story for encouragement sake, that the Lord will use our fears and our inadequacies and use them to His glory, if we will just surrender. peace out.